On May 30th, two astronauts blasted off into space.
A truly incredible landmark of history.
An enormous feat of human achievement.
As I sit here in the dark, I feel like I have achieved so little in my life.
An associates degree, a few songs released online,
Mediocre skill in a multitude of things, mastery of none.
Anxiety creeps in, whispers in my ear:
‘You can’t do that.’
Recently that voice has been quieter.
I have begun to respond:
‘Yes I can.’
And I will.
If it kills me, I will.
I will achieve, create, succeed.
I will find my purpose,
I will work hard until I reach my goals.
I will not stay in one place.
I will continue moving forward.
Trusting that I am in the right place,
I can take one step, and then another.
Glad to be exactly where I am, in this moment.
I don’t care about fame or money, I just want to create.
Create something meaningful.
Make a difference.
I want to see the end of injustice.
I want to see every last person meet Jesus,
Feel how much He loves them.
So much pain in the world, so much suffering, confusion, loneliness.
What can I do to further the cause?
My actions seem so insignificant, so inconsequential.
Everything I do seems meaningless.
Except when I am worshipping.
Then everything stops.
I am at peace.
I am okay.
I do not need to be perfect.
He loves me.
His love gives me strength.
To carry on.
To love myself.
To accept myself just as I am.
Unfinished, with so far to go.
So much still to do.
And that is okay.
He is with me.
Every step of the way.
Holding my hand.
Carrying me when necessary.
I can never escape His love.
It’s not dependant on what I do, but on who He is.
And in Him I find everything.
In Him, I am fulfilled.
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