Warning: This post is based on my personal opinions and is sure to ruffle a few feathers; please proceed with caution!
This post’s title is misleading; it’s also very unfortunate that this is how some women live their lives. Instead of writing about looking for a husband, I’m going to write about why I’m not actively seeking out a husband…
We live in the 21st century, but some things don’t seem to change. Mothers still seek to see their daughters married; fathers wish to marry their daughters to financially-stable, career-made men; and daughters yearn to have a husband and make a family. Now, I understand that this isn’t the mindset of some of you reading this, but it is for others. To me, it’s sad that many are still raising the next generation of women to be homemakers; not that being a housemaker is a bad thing, it’s a challenging job, but not everyone is called to that lifestyle. I get that I’m not a parent and have no right to be writing these things, but I am a daughter who sees how others are raising their daughters’ versus how my parents have raised me, so here are my thoughts on this subject:
My parents raised me knowing that God has a purpose for my life and a path I will walk on. They also taught me that God would provide me with a husband, but they didn’t make it the central goal for my life. In fact, my parents barely brought up marriage with me until this year! It was always a subject that was around, just never spoken.
Of course, my mom has taught me how to keep a home, cook, clean, etc., but it was never meant to be like, “You need to learn this so you will be ready for marriage.” It was more about learning life lessons to help me when I go off and live independently and be independent rather than stay dependent. My parents strove to teach me the essentials so that I would be able to manage in life if anything ever happened to them or myself. My dad taught me about people and media, and my mom taught me the art of not burning the house down when turning the stove on. All these lessons prepared me for managing our Detox House for three months, staying at my grandparent’s house to look after their puppy while they went on holiday, and for all the times I have traveled alone.
I am confident that my future husband will turn up one day; it’s just taking time. Time that allows me to learn and experience things in life that I won’t be able to once married. I honestly don’t believe that my life will begin once I’m married; it started when I was born and continues to grow with each day! We live in an era where we don’t need a man to offer us an arm when we walk through a city, though it is nice on occasion, or be the only money provider.
God has called each and EVERY one of us, not just men, to fulfill the calling on our lives. Do we really want to miss out on what God has for us to get married since that’s how society used to look at women? Absolutely not! Women have just as much to bring into this world, besides children, as men do!
Now, I’m not insinuating that women are better than men; but I’m also not saying that men are better than women. Each gender was created to complete specific tasks, we might look alike, but our brains are wired differently. However, I don’t think that this means that only men should be the ones to work while the women stay home to raise the kids and keep the house nice… For example, what happens if a man abandons his family, what should the woman do then? She certainly can’t just stay home while her children starve without food, and living off her parents isn’t always the best idea.
Money runs this world. Everything costs something, and in this day and age, that means that we can’t just sit around and wait for our husbands to rake in the cash because sometimes that isn’t enough.
So…I am not actively seeking a husband. Instead, I’m actively seeking God’s calling on my life and praying about where He wants me to go next. One day, I will meet a man and fall in love; but until then, I have this opportunity to go into the world as a young, single woman and learn what the world has to offer me (in a Godly and Biblical way, obviously). I’m so grateful to my parents for raising me to be an independent, God-fearing woman. Because of them, I’m not afraid of being alone or missing my destiny since I know that my destiny is wherever God leads and calls me, not what man is telling me to do!
I’m sure some of you have disagreed with some, if not all, of what I have written, so I’d love to hear your thoughts and your stories. We all have different callings, and I’m not trying to judge others on how they choose to live their lives; I get upset when I meet girls/women who seem only to be thinking that their end-game is marriage and being wives and mothers! There are so many things that can and need to be done in this world that sometimes is better without a spouse or children.
My advice: Don’t wait for a man to define who you are. God is the one who should define and lead you. A man is a partner through your walk with God; you’re in this together. So, ask God what your calling is and go and do it! When you get a word, please don’t wait for your ‘perfect timing’ to come before taking that leap of faith and following God to wherever He has called you to go! Your destiny is right in front of you, don’t be scared to reach out and grab it!
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” – Luke 1:45