“When they found him on the other side of the sea, they said to him, ‘Rabbi, when did you come here?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.’ Then they said to him, ‘What must we do, to be doing the works of God?’ Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.’” ~ John 6:25-29 (ESV)
Despite walking into 2026 with the sole focus of seeking the Lord’s will each day, I had hoped to complete the debut novel I’d been working on for the better part of six years. After the Holy Spirit placed the words of this book on my heart during a Bible study one random November evening, I was determined to write and publish it for the Father’s glory. For years, I sat at my computer and asked the Lord to use me as His vessel, guiding my fingers to the right keys until I had a story that showcased the importance of building on the Rock and storing our treasures in heaven.
I was (am) passionate about this novel, but somewhere along the way, my desire to faithfully steward the work God had given me became completely skewed. Rather than approaching each phase with joy, I began measuring my faithfulness by my ability to finish this project, and genuinely believed that if I didn’t, I’d fail God…
The irony is that in my desperation to write the “perfect” story about dying to ourselves and surrendering to God, I’d stopped surrendering the story itself. As I edited and reshaped the chapters, I became so consumed with my protagonist’s journey to transformation that I completely lost sight of the book’s core message: Surrendering our lives to God doesn’t make us more important or promise us an easier life; it reveals that everything is about our Savior and all HE has done!
I was so convinced this project was all-important that I even tied its completion to my sense of worthiness before God and to one day receiving the phrase we all long to hear: “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I longed to be an obedient disciple, showing God that I was willing to lay everything down to fulfill the calling He’d placed on my life, but in doing so, I stopped walking alongside the Father. Rather than relying on His involvement, I started working FOR Him, essentially patting the Lord on the shoulder while saying, “I know You’re here if I need You, but I’ve got this just now.”
Looking back, it’s no wonder I felt like I was stuck on a merry-go-round, spinning in circles without going anywhere. I’d become so consumed in accomplishing this task to honor my Savior, Yeshua HaMashiach, that I’d completely neglected to invite Him into the space — much like those written about in Isaiah 29:13: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.”
After a long writing hiatus, I returned to this novel in January with the same warped mindset and couldn’t push myself to work on it. Every time I tried to rework a scene or read through the edited chapters, I felt a block, as though the Holy Spirit were physically preventing me from touching this story. Yet, I was still convinced the Lord would be disappointed if I set the book down. I’d poured my soul into this debut novel, but each rewrite wasn’t moving me closer to the finish line — though I knew I was making changes for the better. It was incredibly frustrating.
Thankfully, my wise accountability partner reminded me that I HAD finished the novel in 2023. So, it wasn’t that I wasn’t a finisher; I was too close and needed to take a step back to recognize what I was missing. Rather than spending the next twelve months wrestling with a novel I am really proud of and still look forward to publishing one day, I took my writing partner’s advice and began plotting the idea that had been on my heart for the last two years.
Incredibly, when I released my grip on this book, the Lord showed me what it is like to work alongside Him rather than trying to carry the weight on my own. While I’d been too stubborn to put my debut novel aside and seek the Lord’s direction, my mind had been impatiently bursting with new concepts! What began as a core idea and simple verse has organically evolved into a series that incorporates most of the storyboard ideas I’ve had in my notes for over fifteen years!! By surrendering each writing session to the Father and reminding myself that His love is not conditional on my work, I have written at least 100,000 words in the last six months, and I’m not done yet!
When I embarked on writing my debut novel, all I had were the words God placed on my heart. I had no idea which direction the story would go in or even who the characters were. This time, however, I can clearly see the whole picture in my mind and imagine (in detail) the world’s history, the characters’ personalities, and the themes of each book. I’m honestly so excited to tell you more about this series, but for now, please keep me in your prayers, as I really don’t want to make the same mistake of losing sight of what matters most.
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!” ~ Psalm 143:10 ESV
Being a writer is not for the faint of heart. It requires not only your blood, sweat, and tears but also your tenacity and dedication. There are days when I feel like the worst writer in the world, and others when I can literally hear the characters telling me their stories; it’s insane! But I wouldn’t be able to do any of this if it weren’t for the Father’s inspiration, strength, and motivation.
By restoring my mind to the TRUTH of God’s grace and love, I stopped trying to prove my faithfulness through my work and learned that faithfulness means remaining dependent on the One for whom I am living. While it is a blessing and a privilege to write the words the Lord places on my heart, none of it comes close to what our Savior has done for us. My name might be on the cover of books or articles, but my greatest desire is that the words inside each project will always be a display of worship and praise toward the One who put breath in my lungs.
Perhaps, like me, you’ve been measuring your faithfulness by what you accomplish rather than by your inherent need for Yeshua. Whether you’re a writer, artist, software engineer, or bus driver, I want to ask you: Are you working for the Lord or alongside Him?
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV
