Am I where I’m supposed to be?
After a fantastic trip to London with my mom, I’ve come back to Israel and feel as if something is missing. There’s an emptiness inside of me that wasn’t there while I was in the UK. During our 10 day trip, I was able to connect with people and no longer felt invisible. I’ve been in Israel for almost nine years, and I feel no more settled than I was the day I arrived. Though I love the work I’m doing and wouldn’t trade the opportunities I’m having for the world, the desire to have relationships, feel at home, and no longer be a fly on the wall, is growing stronger.
My whole life, I’ve gone where my parents have been called to go. God has led us to some incredible countries, and each adventure we’ve taken has been incredible; however, there comes a day when it’s time to spread your wings and fly. I had my first taste of adventure last year when I went to Africa, and ever since I’ve wanted to do it again and go somewhere new.
For years, I’ve been trying to find my place in this world. This year, I’ve begged God to open the doors for me to move or take me somewhere where I can have my own experiences; yet, He continues to keep me in Israel. Ironic, right? While I’m praying for God to move me, the Lord keeps blocking my plans and opening the doors for me to stay.
It says in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
So, as much as I wish God would send me elsewhere, He seems to be showing me that Israel is where I need to be, right now. There is no point fighting with a God who knows the beginning and end. His guidance is the wisest we could follow, so I will continue to pray that He will help me understand why I’m supposed to be in Israel and also make an effort to find the fellowship and community I’m craving.
What season are you in right now? Do you feel like you’re in the place God has called you to be, or are you still waiting to hear His voice?
In each season, no matter if we’re where we want to be or not, we need to spend time in prayer and meditation to hear why the Lord has called us to this place at this time. There is no doubt that God is teaching me patience and also expanding my knowledge at this time, and I’m sure He’s doing the same for you!
If you feel like you’re not going anywhere, I encourage you to stop looking at the distance you have yet to go and look at the progress you’ve made since leaving the starting line. When a baby walks for the first time, it doesn’t matter how big the step is or that they fall down in the end, the step alone is seen as a massive achievement; so, why do we beat ourselves up when we take a step and fall? Just like our parents did when we learned to walk, God has His arms outstretched to catch us when we lose our balance. No matter the size of our steps, we are making progress, and each day we are taking one step closer to our destinies.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit — fruit that will last — and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”
You are not alone. God is listening to your prayers and feeling each tear that is being shed. If you don’t feel like where you are is where you’re supposed to be, pray that God will open the doors. Breakthrough is coming! You will be set on the right path! Get ready, because change is about to happen!
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Yeshua Ha’Mashiach!”
1 Thessalonians 5:18